We are Social, absolutely.

It was an evening family get- together, everyone was appropriately dressed to the occasion, the food and the conversations were full on. Observantly and willingly, I for a moment thought of detaching myself from the ecosystem of the evening.

I could see brightly lit faces, everyone was upbeat, lot of sharing was happening around, besides food, a lot of information and experience was being transferred.

Suddenly it struck to me, though everyone was wearing the brightest smile, but somehow “happiness” was missing.

By definition and by nature we are social. We enjoy the presence of people around us, we have different strength of families, joint or nuclear, but still they are families. To encourage this our mornings are scheduled in parks, afternoons in offices, and evenings with friends and family or an occasional get-together. Some who prefer to stay aloof are often viewed with a frown and a set of visual questions.

Right from the beginning we are encouraged to be with friends and spend some time, all the more, if one is not so inclined. It is customary to have a circle of your own. It is so deeply embedded in our behavioral conduct that, at times it gives me an impression that, maybe it is an enforcement more than it being a choice. And if that be so, then why, what is the objective like….?

















Is it like to keep one away from loneliness…okay…but then what harm could it do to one..? Only one would get more to time to spend with one’s self, and one gets to think…. And that is okay…..So are we like discouraging self thinking, as it could probably lead to radical thinking, which would obviously be different from current set up. So are we like promoting the “comfort zone”, where in all and everything supposedly suits us, but why so. Is it actually for the greater good?

But on the contrary one feels most c o m f o r t a b l e , p l e a s e d , s a t I s f I e d , e v o l v e d , a t t a c h e d when one is all by oneself, often alone.

One feels such when one is leaning against the balcony admiring the canvass of the sky, or on rooftop feeling the breeze, or your face cupped in your own palm staring at so busy world and seeing nothing, or hands folded against one chest and a sigh in your breath, or admiring the free moves of a kite in an open sky, or smiling at a kid busy in its own world.

Eventually unable to figure it out explicitly, I appreciate the difference between belief and acceptance.

Groups and Talks.

Group talks have always interested me. There is something fascinating about them. In early years of my life, the talks were more homely and the gentry were in-house, kind of. Then on in academic life the talks was more casual and nonchalant and gentry was heavily gender biased, courtesy not so impressive interpersonal skills, with the better humans, and prettier too.

In early days I can easily picture myself hovering around, a bunch of beautiful ladies of home, elegantly draped in bright sarees, their discussion being complimented by the clinging sound of their bangles and by most honest expressions, it used to act like a magnet for me. I was so much into it, that there was a time when I believed I could actually sniff it happening.

Such meetings are most frequent under the umbrella of some family event, time is post meal, post lunch is most favorable. Initially I used to stand and attend, with experience I learnt to crawl and merge. They used to be so much engrossed in their talks that my encroachment was often ignored, but it was not long before somebody would notice me, probably she was not being heard, may be. And then everybody would turn to me and I used to greet them with the expression, “Did I do something wrong ?”… well, I knew the answer. On my walk away, I could hear them, asking my mother, why he is so keen in all this…even she didn’t had the answer to it. Neither had I.

But honestly I owe a lot of my learning to such events, for some reasons:

1. Nobody is praised
2. Nobody is talked ill of, either, and that’s the beauty.
3. Nobody from the group is discussed, so safe to be in.
4. The one, who reveals most sensational stuff, is hailed most.
5. This adds a lot of competition to it.
6. Secrets revealed, would sure leave me in awe.
7. But for my attendance, I would have never, in my life, could have been aware
8. People discussed, are so much different as they were known, otherwise.
9. One gets an idea, how is one thought of in accordance to one’s conduct.
10. You stay updated.

Rarely, if the subject of discussion happens to pass by, the expression is priceless. Not only of the group but of the subject too….

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

Sometimes I wonder, why I always try to assign or align an event with an event.

As a young boy, in junior-middle class, obviously, it would have been nice to wear a wrist-watch, but I don't know why I made an agreement with my self, that I would ask for it, when I would clear my class tenth, and honestly, I had no qualms about that agreement. It was as close, as if I deserved to wear a watch, if only I did well in my results. Now I am glad I did well, else it would have been my cell phone, helping me out with time tracking.....but what if were not able to "earn" that either...!

How good or justified it is, as a logic, I have no clue.
Am I to find the reason in my upbringing, family, culture, nationality, ethics, I have no interest either.

So, by the same line of thought, Anubhav and I had decided, post our last exam we would go for a movie, more importantly, my first ever movie outing with a friend.
It was 1999...and yes we were struck heavily by the SRK syndrome, most part of my generation is,may be was, then.

So it was KKHH, both of us, on his cycle, in our school uniform, minus the tie...it was close to formals, to think of it today, went through with the show. Post show, it was all praises and discussions, right from the specific frames, general acting, the " 7 letter letter" angle, the entry, the twists, " that " look, little khalsa, " toota-tara " , friend-ship bands, anjali's we analyzed everything, and of course,the most famous..... " you won't understand " .

Now all this till we got on the bicycle. Then on, when it started "rolling" and I could feeling the wind in my face and through my hair, with the sun, yet to show up, it wasn't long before I started with the songs, and Anubhav often joining me in between, where all he could catch up with the lyrics, and as an effect the bike was like meandering along the road, and that was more fun, only till it took a sharp turn and I had to choose between my elbow and face to get scraped by the road, and I guess I made the right choice to bring me back to the real world.

But it wasn't that bad, the movie-effect was potent enough to see me through the accident and the pain. The movie hangover outlived the pain, for sure. Today when I hum those songs, it all comes back...the same old way....plus a smile.

Travelling Mannerisms.

Just for the record, for most of my travel, I am thankful to Indian Railways, State Bus Transport, sometimes Volvo, DTC, and cab drivers.

This one is for the railways :

Think of travel, and not to expect adventure is very unlikely. Courtesy all the great stories my friends happen to share with me, and they continue to do so. At times, I could not help but think, that am I the only one who travels on the wrong day, wrong train, wrong compartment and in the wrong company, all the time.

During most of such story telling sessions, every time a raconteur emerges and takes over the session, and is most proud of his description. The energy and the passion with which one describes such " fortunate " events (that's what people like me would call it), it all lies in his eyes.

And yeah, that person just couldn't be lying, one, look at him he appears so much involved, and two, you wish it were you.....!

No matter how many stories you come across, any two would never be the same...now that's encouraging in a way. And the best part is that, they are NOT at all gender biased, the equation has to be balanced, there is a boy and there is a girl.

Now let us come to measure the impact this has delivered....yes it has.

As a consequence of these stories, it has not only kept a lesser fortunate class of travelers hopeful, but has also led to the development of certain mannerisms among them...which are acceptable.

• Your friend drops you at the station and he is equally " eager ".
• Besides saying goodbye, he smiles and winks....and so do you.
• You check out the passenger list, and your seat number is not the only thing you keen at.
• Now you realize the second important meaning of the " F " word.
• To follow the F you have the figures, yes, the other meaning.
• Rug-sack besides you can be " up-loaded " or " down-loaded " as the situation demands.
• Positioning of your rug-sack, is sure a language for you, you want to convey a message.
• General security concern forces you to carry out an inspection of the compartment, if not the full train.

Finally, you utter those tough words.....may be next time. Hope Lives...

Read Slow.....to enjoy.

They are soft, they have the curves and they are very smooth.

To begin with they are a bit hard and reluctant but within a short span of time and some treatment , one can sure tame them. All they need is a little warm up, and there they are at your service...all yours...!

Be it any time of the day, if there is something you can think of at any hour and every hour...its just them. May be we have taken them for granted.They have been around for a while now, and they are always there for us. And the best part is .... it doesn't take too much time. Its doesn't take long with them and in a short while you are done with them.

Come to think of it, there are times, majorly post sunset, when you wished so much for them, if only if they weren't around then. Here comes another winner, they are actually not so hard to manage. And they are a big hit among younger people and are often enjoyed in groups. Although, oldies too would hate to give them a miss, simply because they are so convenient.

I, courtesy, my academy days, have an altogether different, emotional and more than important attachment with them. But being a junior or a senior I think I have "managed" them well. If it were not them, I would have missed a lot in my academy life. I could well call them my savior, at times.

Just imagine, you are almost craving for them and there they arrive, all dressed up, glowing, adorned with accessories.....Smoking Hot....yeah...literally....! more than often they are accompanied by a fork and a spoon........yes our very own .......Maggy Noodles.

I guess I am hungry now..............

Leap of Faith.

It was on of those cold winter mornings in February, in Delhi, when it used to be really cold...in 2008, unlike the following winters.... Global Warming is a sure thing.

I got back from work pretty early, the prior night , for I had to catch an early train to Bangalore next morning. I was hoping to catch some good sleep...well that's the idea like. But my logic has always been to translate my traveling time into sleeps, for most of them have been very far from interesting, unlike what most of my friends had....in fact all of them.

So a friend of mine was kind to pillion me to the station, and the only thing I didn't have on me was a quilt on bike....it was so cold. After carrying out customary rituals outside the station, I moved in.

I was enjoying the fact that I have so much time to board the train, courtesy some near misses and thrills, I shall put up later.

It was some Karnataka express I had to take, and on the platform there was only one, and it said Karnataka express. So I hopped on, it was kind of vacant, just a few individuals in the whole compartment. In about 15-20 mins it moved, the initial thrust were cajoling me into the sleep deeper. But, just like that, I thought to have a glance at my ticket. And lo..! for my train to start..... it was still 15 mins.

Then I realized what it really means to be clueless. I had already started considering options, while I planted my rug-sack on my back. Options like pull the chain, how far is the next station, do the two trains follow the same route at least till the next stop and yes... jumping out.

These are the situations which demonstrate the speed and capability of your mind.....so never ever doubt it, it is pretty sharp actually.

So to start with my rescue, I went to a gentleman, I don't know why, because I knew it all, may be I required assurance...I don't know. So he said something, which actually meant, I have got it all wrong and this Karnataka express goes to Chennai instead, and then he smiled.

I wish I had more time to react to his smile,but next moment I was at the door. Thoughts were rallying in my head, it's not a mind anymore. The train had picked up speed, all I was considering wast to take the leap or not. Finally, not long after, I thought I should, and I pushed myself out and before I could reach ground on the parallel track. Some more thoughts brushed across my mind....yes the Thought Process is that quick.

In my junior classes I had interest in Physics so I had an idea about statics and motion and inertia, and those examples guiding you how to direction or position yourself when you get off a moving vehicle, it all came to my mind and I had enough "mental-time" to realize that I was all so wrong in my applied physics and finally closed my eyes.

And then it was the thud on those pebbles, my rug-sack saved my back, train speed was probably at the threshold, critical speed, which could have caused any muscular damage, but I could sure see the stars. And take the embarrassing walk to the platform, where I feelt like everyone is staring at me only, and wondering where am I coming from.

Guilty and not so proud of it.

Many a times, when you get a chance to be in a situation when you walk, and walk not with a purpose to fulfill any obligation, errand or any such objective like a rush to class, get some stuff.
The beauty of such walks is that, you don't plan or schedule them, its only in the midst of the walk you tend to realize that this is one of those times....and that is the time when you are not alone....you are walking besides your so very own and lost self.

Such walks are often naturally complimented, there could be light drizzle around, or a cool breeze or even an interesting canvassed sky. Well converse could also be true, it depends.

So, in such walks, when one is oneself, the respect for the ambiance around automatically increases and so does the respect for the nature and humanity.
Now incidentally not many lives around you would not be in the same frame of mind then, and consequently the carelessness of a life towards another saddens you.

The blame in such scenarios, for a change, starts from self and when one allocates enough reasons to ensure a clean chit for oneself, it transcends to others and then on to system. But here, you never get that clean chit

So you are walking, and you come across an elderly figure his posture and attire speaking for his helplessness, no he's not a beggar, his eyes say so....and those eyes just couldn't lie, he doesn't even stretches his arm for alms, but its only him who knows how badly he needs it. That hesitation says it all, if only he could have a chance to speak to someone about what all he has been through, but who has the time.

Now that's the action part, which so pregnant with meanings, pain, suffering, longing, anger and repentance.... without a bulge.

Now for the reaction part, one has only two choices, practically speaking, one turn a blind eye and walk away, two offer some alms.
Now consider the two choices to one, framed by our "experience and learning" are they really worth being called a choice...?
They are mere excuses of getting away from the situation, one free of cost other would cost you few quits.

I feel so helpless and ashamed and angry of my own self, that somebody who is scientifically 99% same as me can be forced to suffer like that, why ...there must be stories of broken trust, I am sure.

You walk away, or you offer some quits it's just the same....you can't even look him in the eye.

Virtual Relief.

Being oN LiNe.....

Yes, today we have the pleasure to live in a more developed, advanced and conducive society.But then why is the need, or demand, if I may, for more freedom and expression, higher than ever.

The reasons I shall not delve in to, now.
But yes the consequences are sure to be thought upon.

Virtual presence today, is the means to be. One's virtual avtar is not just an imagination, but it is actually a decent way to bridge the gap between what one wanted to be and what one becomes, courtesy various peripheral but embedded constraints, which are sowed in us as a debt, to which we pay till we live.

Surprisingly, in today's context where issues like loosing "human-touch" are the probable concerns, one's physical social circle appears nothing infront of virtual social circle.
One reaches out to greater number of people on line than in person.

You think you need a haircut, gone are the days when you would go to a hair dresser, all you need to do is to change your profile picture. Today you have a different emotion on you than the one on the day prior,and you want your people to know about that, and you know they care and it does matter, change the picture with the appropriate facial gymnastics. Be it a new dress,accessory or any possession, all it take is a few clicks.

And its just not the display quotient but its equally effective at interpersonal material or emotional transactions. The communication means, the language, is pretty similar to the one you have been taught, while you developed your resume, but the effect and the impact is wonderfully different and immense.

The semantics of the language is strikingly different. Here the texts and the symbols do not have latent meanings, and hence the scope of being misinterpreted diminishes.
One look at a profile would inform you how much one wanted to be such, than one is now.

Its a joy to know that there exist a channel where in one can channelize one's to be and could be's. If only it weren't such.
Its more like fostering two self's. One where you are busy carrying out obligations (repaying debt) and the other where you are just yourself.