Confusion.

Here I am,
Here I am watching,
Here I am waiting,
Here I am writing,
Here I am erasing.

Sick of this illusion,
whose symptom is this confusion.

Every time the stake is my peace,
Don't know, how many times I'll put it up on lease,
I construct this infrastructure around me,
With no courage to take it down,
Its a puzzle, that too a round one,
Its the perfume inhaled,
which intoxicates,
and doesn't let you breath.

When all the decorations,
all the wall pieces,
all the ribbons,
descend the wall it once embraced,
everything bites dust,
including what I trust.
When it all starts to fall,
Who would be standing tall

In silence I sing,
its the sin,
in whose shadow I remain,
engraved and embedded.

It can't be touched,
but it stays on me,
its weight, its pull,
all around me,
surrounded I am,
with no sheild or armor.

and when it divorced me,
got me married to the aftermath,

I stand and watch,
Lurking questions I ask,
is it just I,
or perhaps you just have masks.

Peacock.

ए दोस्त,
आज जो मुझसे मिल तू,
फिर तू, कल ही हो मुझसे मिला,या फिर..
बरसो बाद है मिला.

न खुदको थोप मुझपे,
न जता खुदको मुझपे,
बस दिखा खुदको इत्मीनान से.

बनने दे मुझे तेरा मौसम,
जिसका बने मोर तू,
ज़रा उचका अपनी गर्दन,
फैला अपने रंग-पंख तू,
बिखेर वो सारे सिमटे रंग तू,
न शर्मा उन पैरो से,
न छुपा उन पैरों को,
वोह भी तेरे उतने ही अंग.

ज़रा खुद को मुझसे मिलने की,
इजाज़त तो दे,
ज़रा तू दिखा,
ज़रा मै भी देखूं ,
कितना निखरा,
कितना बिखरा तू.

न लगा इसका हिसाब तू,
की वोह मेरा काम है,
न जांच खुदको, मेरी नज़रों से,
की, नज़रिए का फरक तो होगा ही,
और शायद लगेगा भी.

फिर क्यूँ जब तू आज,
मुझसे मिलने को आया,
क्यूँ खुद को साथ लाया है..?
न ओढ़ कोई चादर,
न लगा कोई रंग,
रह मुझसे तू स्वतंत्र..

ज़रा हम भी देखे,
मिजाज़ कैसे हैं आपके..!

Left closet.

Its a small closet up there..
not often visited, though..
neither by me, nor by many.

Dimly lit, but filled with fragrance,
Resplendent with the brightest colours,
and lighter shades..!

Nothing arranged in here,
Stuff just lies in this room,
Just as it was placed first,
All it carries, is a "time-flag"..
Primarily for chronological reference,
and an ephemeral "feel-it-patch".

Small windows, act as a sieve,
to filter in some light and air,
light and air of most exquisite class.

But, its a little strange configuration..
the outside voice doesn't really get in,
probably, filtered out as "noise".
and the inside voices, they stay...!
they echo and reverberate.

There are no doors, though.
One could just be there, or not.

In here,
crouched on the chair..
I have seen people leaving..
and I have ignored people knocking..
I am guilty,
and I am proud of it as well..!

Its my flesh and blood,
on the left side of my frame it rests.

Thinking...not so waste.

Thinking...does transform.

I thought, my request for:

That toy,
That dress,
That game,
That book,
That party,
That friend,
That career,
That girl,
That college,
That job,
That venture,

Would not be accepted,
and it wasn't.

And I also thought,that:

I might pass that exam,
I might get in that college,
I might get that job,
I might get that life,
I might get those friends,

And I did get them.

Now, besides the above two categories,

I think I have enough,
Which I didn't thought about,
Received un-wished,

Its been more than fair,
It always is,

And so shall it be.
May be that's the script.

Pretty Classic and Very Regular

You have been around,
If not always,then at least when I wished..

There were times and spaces, when only you were around..
There were instances, when I had created time and space just for you..!

All this while,
You stood quiet,
You didn't blame,
You didn't claim,
It did humbled me.

With you..
I am at peace,
I am myself,
I am, what I wan't to be,
I am, what I couldn't be,
and may be what I can not be.

With you around,
As already articulated,
I have three strongest forces of nature,
at my finger tips:- light,fire and smoke.

With you, I think, I can be what I would not be.
With you, I think, I could think what I never could.
I wonder what all did you seed in me,
a new thought, a new feel, a new emotion,
or a new Man altogether.

You are my choice,
A choice I made..
against all instructions,
against all advices,
I, too, have patronized you.
But it would be unfair to equate, I believe.

After all, it all ends in Ashes and Smoke.